Just Keep Swimming

i am in a fog. everything is hazy. there is no ground under my feet. if the number on the scale tomorrow shows that i maintained this week, it will be a GIFT. i haven't completely jumped off the deep end, but i definitely put my feet in the water. i keep repeating in my head "just keep going, just keep going...." i know that i need to be in this for a good solid year to get near my goal weight. but this feeling i have isnt all about my physical health. i have checked out mentally and it is affecting everything. there's no good reason for this. and the two things that matter most and HELP me the most in feeling good are the two things that have been most affected: my physical health and spiritual health. its only been about a week that this feeling has sunk its teeth into me, but i need to do something about it ASAP. my physical health is a lot easier to work on than my spiritual health. i can see right now the things i did wrong this week.

1. didnt cook ahead for lunches
2. tried to do all my exercises at home instead of at the gym

man, i am scared of what the scale is going to say tomorrow. but i am getting back on that flippin' horse.