Thursday, December 29, 2011

It's Okay If You Don't Lose Weight

"you know its ok if u dont lose the weight right?" my friend looked at me with big reassuring eyes.

ummm.... no, actually, thats the definition of ''not ok''....its not ok. not losing weight is not ok. this person was trying to be supportive and explained that i am cute and fun and healthy and happy the way i am and i dont need to change a SINGLE thing.

if i was not on a diet and kicking my butt at the gym for hours each week i would have welcomed her "you're perfect the way you are" speech (not that i would have actually believed it). but since i was shoving lettuce in my face every day for lunch, the speech was just annoying.

there is so much i have already missed out on because of my weight. im tired of it and i dont want to miss out on any more. I want to have kids before my ovaries shrivel up into raisins. and there is a huge list of horrible risks associated with overweight/obese pregnancies. i found this list while looking up info for 5ks that i can do this spring.

i want to do one a month from april-september. so i was bummed to see that all my favorite causes have their 5ks huddled together in the the end of may. the last time i did i a 5k i came in 123rd out of 131 people... and my total time was 1:01:22 with a pace of 19:48/M.

that means i was walking at the break neck speed of 3miles/hour. for an hour! i dont think i can top that. i was spurred on by a super thin cheerful supportive friend who refused to leave me in the dust despite my constant reassuring that she didnt have to drag back with me. i was walking as fast as i could in near jog panting and sweating while she was gliding along effortlessly. she comforted me by explaining that this was actually really nice to slow down and just go for a stroll and that she usually goes too fast to really look around and enjoy herself. wow. i secretly longed to be left in the dirt of her nikes so i could slow down. i was killing myself trying to keep up with her stroll.

the next 5k i do, im not even worrying about my time. when i finished that 5k two years ago i had all these dreams of running my next one. HA! i just want to participate. i am happy with my complimentary t-shirt as a consolation prize.

i am really excited by how far ahead i am on my weight loss journey. i am only 11.4 lb away from my feb 20th goal of a 25 lb weight loss. that will bring me to 225.

im starting to think that maybe this is really possible, that maybe by oct 2012 i will have lost 100 lb and be down to a twiggy 175 lb! do i really have it in me?

when i read other blogs or hear other chubby girls express their desire to lose weight i am fully confident in their abilities. i see it right at arms reach. all they have to do is stick out their hand and grab it. but i cant see how it could really happen for ME.

here are the stats from my most recent workout.


Ronnie said...

Of course it can happen for you!

And I'm with you. I'm sick of hearing I didn't need to lose any weight when I was 250 pounds. And now I'm too "skinny" for some people. SIGH. I think people like us just where we were... they want us to be healthier, but God forbid we do something to make that happen.

Katie J ♥ said...

You most certainly can! You have proven that already. Just keep doing what your doing and you will get there girlie!

Maren said...

It's the same for all of us I think.. We see other people's abilities and possibilities when it comes to weight loss and health, but not our own. I'm like that too :)

K said...

I don't know why people think we want to hear that we don't need to change. When people say that to me I'm always thinking, "so you want me to be at an increased risk for health problems and death? How nice of you." I want people telling me they KNOW I can change..that would be a welcome comment. From reading your blog I know you can change too :)

Meghan said...

We will both do it girl!!!!!! We will kick butt!!!!!!

Sheila said...

YES, you can do it!!! I have just recently started running (on my treadmill and have NO plans to run any type of marathon at all) and this girl does NOT run. But I'm slowly getting addicted to it. I don't like to run, but I like the way I feel afterwards. :-)

Monicalatour said...

You definitely can do it, I have faith in you :) 2012 will be a good year for all I can feel it !!

Amy @ Jack Sprat's Wife said...

Way to go on the work out... I hear you about the "its ok" speech... kind of like when people say you don't lose weight because you are gaining muscle. That's crap. (well for me anyway... I have WAY to much weight to lose for that excuse). Just think at least your friend was strolling... my husband has to run backwards when I try to jog, and he still runs WAY faster (like on the next block faster) ;-)