5 Years

Happy anniversary to me! I have been married to my best friend for FIVE years today! It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years already. The time certainly has flown by! “I don’t know how I’m ever going to love him more…but I’ve said that before.”

Anyways. Remember a while ago I was wondering how long I could keep up this “healthy lifestyle” thing? Well. Now I know. The answer to that is “until about 2 weeks ago.” I just don’t wanna! How dumb am I? What do I think I am dealing with here? What makes me think this is optional? Here’s how bad it is. I have stood up my flaky workout buddy. I have stood HER up. Yesterday we were supposed to go to the gym in the morning. I slept in. Didn’t even call to cancel. When I didn’t answer her texts (because I was SLEEPING), she came to my house to pick me up. And I didn’t hear the doorbell for a long time. And then when she was like, “Do you want me to wait while you get changed?” I said, “No. I don’t wanna.” What. A. Loser. What am I thinking??

I need to get back on track. Get my game face on. Just flippin’ do this already.

See SG Run

So far I have done my “journey-to-jog-one-mile training” a grand total four times. That means I have done 80 minutes of my training. And jogged a total of 16 minutes of those minutes (a minute at a time). Yes. I have been running and NOTHING has been chasing me. I am growing as an athlete!

Being able to run a mile is so important to me. Why? I think there are a lot of real life situations where a person’s well-being really could depend on their being able to RUN AWAY. Could happen.

Also, running is so much more FUN than walking. It just is. Well, not for ME of course. For me it stinks. But if I were someone who could run longer than 60 seconds, it would be fun.

It’s also good for you. It burns so many calories. And studies by Stanford University show that running can improve bone and joint function. Running also has been shown to decrease blood pressure (*stupid stinking high blood pressure*), increase cardiovascular functioning, increase HDL (good cholesterol), improve aerobic endurance, increase muscle strength (especially lower body and core), and promote better sleep. All that sounds good to me.

But more than all that, I just want to DO it. I just want to be able to flippin’ DO it. Have you ever just really really wanted to be able to DO something?? Just to know that you could? Just to be able to say that you DID? Even if the only person you ever say it to is yourself?

I have been doing a lot of reading about running. So far, the most exciting thing I’ve read is this:

“TO BE A RUNNER DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO RUN FROM THE FIRST STEP OUT THE DOOR AND EVERY SUBSEQUENT STEP THEREAFTER.”

Wow. So, technically…I am a runner. I am a runner. As long as I keep up with my training and keep going and don’t GIVE up….I am a runner. Even if the day of my next 5K I can’t run a whole mile without stopping, if I can run a minute at a time, then I am still a runner.

In fact, walk/run programs are a really good option because they reduce your risk of injury and slowly help your body to adapt to running. Muscles, joints, connective tissue, and the diaphragm need to adapt to the more rigourous movement of running. THIS TAKES TIME.

Knowing that I am ALREADY a runner really makes this time go by a lot quicker.

Week 15 Weigh-In: +4 lb (244 lb)

no, im not crying. i stayed within my points for the week. and i did my jogging training and lifted weights. could i have done better with my eating? absolutely. could i have exercised more? of course. but i did ok.

ever since i was diagnosed with high blood pressure i have been very careful with my sodium intake. im supposed to get 1500-2300 mg a day of sodium. (stupid *flippin* high blood pressure!!!) to give you an idea of how difficult that is, 1 tsp of salt has 2300 mg of sodium. and there is sodium in food already.

but THAT is what i really messed up on this week. sodium. i lost count. when i weighed in this morning, my very cool scale told me that i gained FOUR stupid pounds. but it ALSO said that my body fat is 48%....which is horrible, i know. but it's always been over 50% in the past. last week was 50%. so i lost fat.

but that doesnt erase the side-effects of eating too much salt. my left hand/arm has been going numb and tingling a lot this week. which has not happened in months. scary.

becoming a healthy person is really really hard.

3 Things About Smasher Girl

1. i do not have the internet. how do i survive? well. like this: "aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! i wish i had the internet!!!!" im kidding. (kinda) really, i spend a lot of time at the library up the road. its actually quite nice. AND i spend MUCH less time online when im at home than i would if i had it in my house.



2. i was introduced to blog land by Pasta Queen. not, like in PERSON (i wish). i just stumbled upon her blog. i cant even remember how. and was amazed. her blog is amazing. she lost 200 lb and took 3-D photos of herself along the way. i was hooked. i couldnt go a day without checking to see what she wrote. and the day i learned that i, too, could have my OWN blog. well. i was thrilled!



3. i live in a (*gasp*) mobile home. i know most of you are probably picturing this:

but really, most of them actually look more like this:











not the ritz...but not that bad. and it helps us keep a simple life (and me working part-time). the neighborhood is nice and we have a big yard. we really love our place!

and there is one more thing about Smasher Girl.

I WON!!! i won the BodyBugg from Laurie's Journey to Better Health. i am so happy, excited, and i cant wait to try it!


in the mean-time, i am plugging along on my "journey-to-jog-one-mile training" and its going pretty well. i have been running 1 minute and walking 4 minutes and repeating that 4 times. i have been walking at 2.5 mph (because i am DEAD after running a minute) and jogging at 4.5 mph (yes, i DO know thats ridiculously slow...but this isnt "journey-to-jog-the-fastest mile." just a mile.) according to the training plan, im not allowed to jog two days in a row. i need to recover.

on my non-jogging days i have been doing interval training on the treadmill. with mad-crazy inclines. like 18.5. and i have kept up with lifting weights.

after 6 weeks of lifting, i can NOT believe that i ever chose to NOT lift! its so fun. and really makes an hour of exercise fly. i feel stronger! i got a new weight program today. it involves those huge blue yoga ball things. and a bunch of new machines that i have NEVER tried before. fun!

i feel really good right now. like i can DO this.

Check It Out!

go to Laurie's Journey to Better Health and enter to win a body bug!! she is giving hers away. completely free!! (talk about showing love to your fellow bloggers!) the best part is, all you have to do is leave a comment. i posted this just because i couldnt keep quiet about how cool she is for doing that!

let me know if you win!

Weekly Weigh-In: -4 lb (240 lb)

happy dance!! i cant believe that i lost 4 lb this week! that makes my total weight loss 25 lb. i am so happy with that. it has been pretty slow going. i started 03/22/10. so its been 13 weeks. but that averages 1.9 lb a week weight loss.

thats why i was so surprised by what buddy texted me today. we signed up for the gym at the same time. and we make a lot of plans to go together. but i usually end up being there all by my lonesome...which i surprisingly dont mind so much any more. i think i might actually be enjoying my work out time! i dont usually tell people about my weight loss. but after she texted me this morning...to (*surprise*) say she was NOT going to meet me at the gym, i told her that i had reached my 25 lb weight loss mark (*woo-hoo*).

she sent back a message saying that it makes her really sad to think that if she had just persevered like i did, that SHE would be 25 lighter as well.

i really didnt know what to say to that. im glad she was honest with her response and didnt pretend like it didnt bother her. but it feels like my weight loss has been sooooo slowwww. i can hardly believe that some one else would have a hard time accomplishing the same thing. maybe im not giving myself enough credit. especially given some VERY exciting news!!!

my mom who is super generous and has literally bought me every dress i own (and i need dresses because as a jehovah's witness, i wear a skirt/dress when i go to my meetings) surprised me yesterday. she walked into my house with THREE beautiful dresses for me!!! the last time she bought me dresses from this particular store, i was a size 20 (which is a joke because i was more like a 26...but this brand runs really big...which i LOVE). so, this time she bought me size 18....and they were toooo BIG. yup. so we went to the store to exchange them. i got 3 dresses that are size 16. and they are BEAUTIFUL. gorgeous! when did shopping and trying on clothes become FUN??? granted...it DOES help when you dont even have to bring your purse because your amazing mother is paying (*thanks mom*). that really really strengthened my latest resolve.

i am determined. DETERMINED. to run a mile. yes. a mile. jogging. no stopping. for a whole complete total MILE. so. i did a little research.

many times in the past, i have tried to train to run a 5K. i tried the couch to 5k program. which is super cool. but too hard for my chubby butt. so i looked around for a training program to run JUST a mile. and i found one. on sparkpeople! there is a great article about training to run a mile.

many times i have wondered if i was physically capable. because, lets face it. im a bit of a chubster. i get kinda frustrated when training programs act like any one CAN run if they CHOOSE to. so not true. this article says, "You do have to be able to walk before you can run. Once you can comfortably walk for one full hour, then you're ready to start running." hmmm...ok. i can do that. so i guess i can start training. so i DID!!!

the training is 4 weeks. but i think i am going to need more than a month. so im doubling it. my training looks like this.

Time Involved: three 20-minute sessions a week, repeat each interval 4 times. 5 minute warm up, 5 minute cool down.

WEEK 1 & 2: jog 1 min/walk 4 min

WEEK 3 & 4: jog 2 min/walk 3 min

WEEK 5 & 6: jog 3 min/walk 2 min

WEEK 7 & 8: jog 4 min/walk 1 min

if i keep up with my training AND dont miss sessions, i should complete 480 minutes of training in 8 weeks (my little hula girl is gonna dance me to the finish line on the ticker in my side bar). and in theory, when im done with my training, i SHOULD be able to run a mile. straight. with OUT stopping....or (*hopefully*) dying. which brings me to my SURPRISE.

i am walking in a 5K august 15th for lung cancer. and i will JOG one mile of it with OUT stopping. crazy? maybe. really....i dont think i'll be able to pull it off. honestly. i dont think i'll be able to pull off week 5 and 6! me? jog 3 minutes??? not likely.

although, when i did my first training session saturday, i didnt think i'd be able to jog for a minute. and i did. i was sweating bullets. my knee was twinging (which it did NOT do today) and i had shin splints. today, oddly, it wasnt too bad. hard. really really hard. but i did it. some one must have saw me almost keeling over on the treadmill saturday...because there was a NEW SIGN in my gym this morning. SEE?? as scary as that is....its also kinda comforting :-)

out of the closet

i wear the same clothes everyday. really. every day. same clothes. so then why? why do i have clothes literally EXPLODING out of my closets?? piles of clothes EVERYWHERE! it was killing me. i could feel myself going into shutdown mode.

and its not just my clothes. its everything. somehow, i have way way too much stuff. it feels like i cannot breathe. i think as a culture or generation we just have too much. im POOR and i have TOO much! i need to do a major major de-cluttering of my house.

i started yesterday with my (**ughhhh**) closets. a good friend came over yesterday and helped. she sat on my bed and folded clothes and put them in appropriate piles. i think its hard when your weight is like a roller coaster. i had clothes that were too big, too small, too tight, too old, and clothes that still had price tags on them (mostly because they never fit to begin with). so i got rid of three huge garbage bags full of just my clothes and donated them to goodwill. i also put my "too small clothes" in order of size so i can go through them periodically as i drop pounds. (how optimistic of me!) i really feel soooo much better. now on to the rest of my house!

Dream Beach Gear

beach gear by smashergirl featuring Vera Bradley bags

Old Navy Womens Mix & Match Hipster Swim Bottoms, $17
HURLEY Only Plaid Womens Reversible Swimsuit Top, $47
Bonnie Marcus LIVE LAUGH LOVE FLIP FLOP, $25
Vera Bradley Sweet Handheld in Palm Beach Gardens, $71
Life's a Beach Shell and Multi Stone Bracelet, Dower & Hall, 398 GBP
D&G 8063 Black > D&G Sunglasses > 8063 501/87 > UK, 113 GBP
Amazon.com: OPI Nail Polish Japanese Rose Garden: Beauty

Rutabaga

in my last post i mentioned beef and rutabaga stew and how GREAT it is. TaDa from Being Healthier asked me to post the recipe. (and since i LOVE posting recipes i couldnt say no!)

BEEF AND RUTABAGA STEW (makes five servings. 6 pts each.)

1 lb beef, fat trimmed and cut into cubes (i buy the stew meat cuz its cheap and already cut up)

1/4 cup flour

1 large onion, chopped up in big pieces

1/2 cup dry red wine

1 cup water

1 cube beef bouillon

2 tbsp worcha-cha-cha-shah-shire sauce ;-)

2 tbsp olive oil

10 cloves garlic, chopped (this sounds like a lot but it mellows as it cooks)

1 tsp thyme

1/4 tsp ground black pepper

1 lb rutabaga, peeled, chopped into 1-inch pieces

1/2 lb green beans, cut in half

1. combine beef and flour in a large bowl. stir to coat the beef in the flour. in a large pot (dutch oven) cook the beef and chopped onion in a little bit of canola oil over medium-high heat until the beef is browned and the onion starts to get tender (about 4 minutes).


2. add the wine, water, bouillon, worcestershire sauce, thyme, black pepper, and olive oil to the pot. bring to a boil. reduce heat. cover. simmer 30 minutes.


3. add chopped rutabaga to pot. bring to a boil. reduce heat. cover. simmer 1 hour.


4. add cut green beans. cover. simmer 20 minutes, or until beans are just tender and rutabaga is soft (like a cooked potato)
   

the rutabaga (also called swedish turnip, yellow turnip, or wax turnip) comes in a wax coating. peeling it it kinda irritating. i used a potato peeler. cutting it is difficult. you need a good knife! i cut it in half first.then i cut it into slices and cut the slices into cubes.

when the rutabaga is raw it looks exactly like what it is....a root. it's actually a cross between a cabbage and a turnip! (*thank you wikipedia*)

but once its cooked, it turns a orange color that looks like sweet potato. it has the consistency of potato too. and takes on the flavor of everything else in the stew. *scrumptious* im sure this could also be done in the crock pot. from what i read about converting a recipe for a slow cooker, i think you just reduce the liquid and cook this particular recipe on low 8-16 hours or high for 4-6 hours. but i have never actually TRIED it in a crock pot MYSELF....but i think i will!

(sorry about the cell phone pic!)

Perfect Pineapple and Jerky Chicken

i had never ever bought a fresh pineapple before. i lumped them together with things in the produce section that i sometimes suspect are made of plastic...just there to make the grocery store LOOK cooler....because they look impossible to actually EAT. like fresh coconut. really?? is this for the elite few whose kitchen is big enough to store a jack-hammer? and cactus? who is eating this?

i definitely felt this way about rutabaga. and then i found a cool recipe for BEEF AND RUTABAGA STEW. it looked great and easy. and so i bought one of those suckers.

and the stew turned amazing. and even though peeling the wax off of this turnip was a bit aggravating...and cutting it into 1-inch cubes required a lot of patience (and even more bicep), the fact that it tasted like potatoes in my stew for hardly any of the calories and carbs really made it all worth it.

so, that's when i turned my attention to the other produce that seemed uneatable. fresh pineapple was on sale. and so i bought one. i brought it home. and cut it up into slices. and? delicious. sooo much better than the canned stuff. **yum**

i also am currently cooking a new recipe. yes. that's right. while i am blogging i am also cooking. because its in my crockpot. i love cooking in crockpot. i feel like such a multi-tasker! the recipe is JERK CHICKEN STEW. the recipe called for turkey...but i used chicken. check out the recipe in that link! you pretty much put spices on chicken and put the chicken in the bottom of a crockpot....and then pour this lovely mixture on top!

after 7 hours of cooking it on low, you stir in some cilantro and lime juice. i dont know yet how it turned out....since, as i said, it's still cooking. but that bowl full of onions, garlic, tomatoes, poblano peppers, and black beans smelled sooooo good. i did make a few modifications to the recipe to make it a lot LESS SODIUM. i used garlic powder instead of garlic salt. i also used no-salt added diced tomatoes and a fresh chopped poblano instead of canned tomatoes with green chilies. and instead of chicken broth, i used a cup of water and salt-free chicken bouillon. so, hopefully, when i get home from the gym tonight, my house will smell amazingly wonderful and i will have THIS waiting for me in the crock pot!!!

Goal Weight Gear

Find me on Polyvore

Weekly Weigh-In: -5 lb (244 lb)

wooo hoooo!! i got to end my 6-week session on a gooood note. i lost 5 lb. FIVE!!!! as you can see from my side bar, the last 6 weeks have been rather reminiscent of a roller-coaster ride. i did awesome this week. i tracked my points. exercised. cooked. planned. took my blood pressure meds. and counted sodium. i even started taking a multi vitamin. (*holy healthy habits, batman!*)


i now weigh 244 lb. i lost 8 lb these last 6 weeks. so that makes my total loss 21 lb in 12 weeks! i am going to post my measurements when i get them. i know my belly has gotten so much smaller. and my jeans that i could HARDLY button (some days not at all) are BIG on me. thats a great feeling. i have pulled out some of my old clothes and have been able to wear some of the shirts.


its amazing how many nicer clothes were available to me when i was just big. being super-big really limits your clothes options. its incredible what good-feeling, good-fitting clothes can do for my mood. i cant wait til i can squeeze into my currently-too-small clothes that are stuffed in boxes.


no one has really noticed any weight loss yet. (except for my mom, husband and one super sweet friend that knows im trying to lose weight.) thats ok, though. i really prefer it that way :0) i really do not like people knowing im on a diet. and i HATE when people scan my body trying to see if ive dropped any pounds. ick! freaks me out! the most important thing is that i know.

and my jeans know tooooo!

Food

why am i always surprised by how delicious healthy food is? i mean, the wicked witch tempted snow white with an APPLE. and eve SAW that the FRUIT of the tree was good and SO she ate it. healthy food is really quite delightful. so why. why. WHY is bad food, fast food, fatty food sooooo hard to resist?? why is it that after a stressful day at work, or when im feeling super anxious, or when i get bad news i WANT the most terrible food i can imagine?!


this happened just last week. i was super stressed out when i left work. i was looking for a food fix. and i wasnt headed for a local farmers market or the produce section of a grocery store. no. in fact i LITERALLY passed BOTH a farmers market and a grocery store on my way to MCDONALDS. i was sure i could hear ronald laughing at me as i drove off with my mcchicken sandwich, double cheese burger and ice cream cone. (*yum*)

and really. that episode shows how much PROGRESS i have made. leaps and bounds. i have been known (in the past) to hit two DIFFERENT fast food restaurants on the way home from work. and then go home and have dinner. (*not my finest moment*)

i obviously cant do that any more. but i still THINK about doing it! i need to replace my thoughts of all the weird bad-for-me junk im used to thinking about

• a LOAF of french bread AND a BRICK of brie cheese
• a pint of ben and jerry's creme brule
• enchiladas (oh, mexican food......)
• a king sized snickers bar for dinner
• a dozen chicken wings with a ton of blue cheese dressing

those were just a few of my classic go-to "go-away-pain" or "party-in-my-mouth" foods. which is pretty tame considering other things i have heard people binging on (like bread slathered with butter and then dipped in sugar, or spaghetti sandwiches!) i have to get these out of my head. not that i cant ever have them or NEVER think of them. but the dwelling must stop. i should be thinking about

• dolmades
• home-made smoothies (yogurt, frozen fruit, milk)
• watermelon
• raspberries
• sushi!!! (ooooooh....so gooood)
• pretty much anything from aladdins (a natural eatery that makes healthy food taste amazingly wonderful. in a way that i can never do on my own.)

what are some crazy bad foods you used to love? what are some healthy foods and snacks that you find wonderful and delicious??

Lemon-Herb Tuna Steak

despite the very upsetting news i received yesterday, i really had a wonderful day. it was day one of my new plan. and i kicked butt.

i tried a new recipe.

Lemon-Herb Tuna Steaks

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

1/4 cup sodium free broth (made with sodium-free bouillon)

1 tbsp olive oil

zest of 1 lemon

juice of 1/2 lemon

1/4 tsp salt

1 shallot, chopped

2 cloves garlic, chopped

4 tuna steaks (or any other white fish steak)

put all the ingredients in a gallon-sized zip lock bag. marinate 30 minutes. doesnt it look good already?? (i love how my new "sorry" game is in the background of these pics! verrrry professional!)

take the fish out and broil 5 inches from heat for 5 minutes on each side (brushing twice with marinade) or until fish flakes easily with a fork.

i made some green beans with garlic and olive oil and a half a sweet potato. sooo good.

i followed the core plan perfectly. i also earned 6 activity points! i mowed the lawn for a half hour. and then i went for an hour walk on the lake.

i really want to get healthy. i want it sooo bad it hurts. i hate that i have diabetes. and high blood pressure. it feels unreal. cant be true. cant be true.

i was looking over my lab results and the good news is that my cholesterol is great! my cholesterol is good over all....AND even better, my good cholesterol is higher than my bad cholesterol. small victory. i'll take it.

my health scares me. but what scares me more is ME. im scared that no matter what consequences i face that i will never man-up and do what i have to do. im scared that i love food and hate work too much to ever really DO anything substantial.

i cant let that be true.

DIABETES

i have it.

Weekly Weigh-In: 249 lb (-2 lb)

well. im down 2 lb. which is crazy because i had a party in my mouth the last seven days and didnt break a sweat once. this is ridiculous. what am i doing?

today im back on track. let's stop the games. its on.

what's the POINT

i need something. i can feel it starting to slip. i want to give up. this towel ive been carrying around is getting super heavy. im ready to throw it in.

but then what? my blood pressure is scary. and im not the only one who is scared. my husband shocked me last night night. ive been thinking a lot about how i feel lately. i hadnt really thought that my health was scaring anyone else...and then last night my darling husband said, very matter-of-fact, "im so scared for you, i am almost in tears." he sees that ive been slipping up....giving up...giving in. and he's scared. not scared of me not losing weight...scared of me not waking up. this is so important. why do i constantly fail myself? my last weigh-in was horrible. i didnt even post about it. (i snuck it on the side bar and my ticker) this week isnt going to be any better. but failure is not an option.

with that said, i need structure. i need something different. i know many people love weight watchers and have lost a ton of weight with it. i've never really thought it was for me. it involves COUNTING....which is iffy...but the MEASURING...is a deal breaker. i cant (or wont) do it.

my bestest friend (love you bean!) is a weight watchers leader. she met with me friday and gave me the low down. explained it very very well. and gave me an ELECTRONIC POINTS CALCULATOR that even DEDUCTS FROM YOUR POINTS ALLOWANCE for you! the great news is that there isnt as much measuring as i thought. now that there are "set points" where you assign a points value to a "reasonable" amount of a certain food. so if i have chicken breast, i dont have to measure 3 oz and count it as 3 pts...i can eat a reasonable amount and count it as 5 pts. much better.

so that only leaves one decision to make:
CORE (simply filling) plan or the FLEX plan.

the SIMPLY FILLING plan involves less counting of points....but it's more restrictive as far as food. the FLEX plan is less restrictive....but involves more counting.

i did the math and discovered that in an average (well-behaved day) i would have much much much more points left with the FLEX plan. the other good news is that i can switch from week to week. do one week SIMPLY FILLING and one week FLEX.

i did have two questions about the SIMPLY FILLING plan that my bestest friend weight-watchers leader could not answer (she is trying to find out and will get back to me). maybe some one out there in the blogger world could help???

in the simply filling plan, you are allowed a whole grain or potato or pasta ONCE a day.

do YAMS (SWEET POTATOES) count in this category? can i only have a yam once a day? and if i have a yam, does that mean that i cannot have rice that same day (without using some of my 35 weekly flex points)?

my next question is about POPCORN. in the simply filling plan, is 94% fat free popcorn a "filling food" or do i have to use my weekly points if i eat it? and if so, does it count as a grain? and can i only have it once a day...meaning that i cannot have popcorn AND rice in the same day (without using some of my 35 weekly flex points).

any one who can answer either of those questions is my HERO!

so, starting monday....i am a weight watcher. i am going to try it for 6 weeks. let's hope i can hang in there!

5K Day

i dont think of myself as a nervous person. the things that get most people rattled, get me excited. that's why i am always so surprised when my body completely IGNORES the fact that i am 100% ok.....and decides to start acting like im scared to death.


this happened when i moved to AZ. even though i was so excited and happy about leaving, i was up the whole night before i left....throwing up. it took me forever to realize it was nerves.

the same thing happened with my wedding. i had been waiting for this day for so long and i was ecstatic to get to wear my dress and get my hair done and cut the cake and dance at my reception.....oh, yeah, AND get married. but, yet again, my body decided to to act all scared. not fun.


well. the same thing happened with this 5K. i was super thrilled at the idea! i knew it was only 3 miles. i can walk 3 miles! but the night before, panic set in. i couldnt sleep and was sick to my stomach.

that's when it hit me. my body gave the same reaction to a 5K as it did to LIFE ALTERING EVENTS (moving across country and getting married). this was huge for me. it's something completely out of character for me. not just "something i hadnt done before"....for me it means so much more. its a big part of the steps im taking to be the person i want to be.


so, the morning of the 5K, i got up at 7 am. had 2 eggs and a piece of whole wheat toast and i was out the door. when we got there, i had to register (because i am a huge procrastinator and didnt pre-register). the sad thing is that they ran out of the cool orange tee-shirts...so i had to put my name on a list and they will let me know when more come in. a record number of people showed up...so not only did they run out of shirts, they also ran out of numbers!! but i (mwah-hah-ha) got the last one! wooo hooooo! dont i look all official?!














standing at the starting line waiting to begin. it was a such a gorgeous day! perfect weather. blue sky. light breeze. around 70 degrees.












then the bell rang and we all starting going. walking..running....people passing. people passing.....people passing. then it hit me. oh. my. god. i am REALLY going to be the LAST one. i had joked about this. but i never actually thought it would HAPPEN. i was going as fast as i COULD. my legs were burning. burning. burning.













some very kind friends kept the slow pace with me. which was extremely kind of them....especially since i know it was just a stroll for them. and i did tell them on numerous occasions that they could go ahead. but they didnt. good friends. and we really WERE pretty much the last ones. one of my friends kept looking behind us and assuring me that we werent COMPLETELY last....there was one person behind us....a pregnant lady....pushing a stroller....

but FINALLY! the finish line. it was just like those stories that i never believe about child birth....how its the worst agony of your life...but the second you see your baby you forget all the pain. i felt that. when i saw that finish line. all i felt was joy.















my time was a pathetic 1:01:21. but i did it. im sure im the only person in the world who did a happy dance because she finished a 5K in an hour! but that was GREAT time for me! that's a pace of more than 3 miles an hour. and for me, to keep that pace for an hour is outstanding! dont i look happy??















after the 5K, my mom (who was one of the friends that walked with me) took me to lunch. we got my absolute FAVORITE.....indian food! doesnt it look great??












then we spent the afternoon sitting on her back deck playing games and enjoying her view. isnt it beautiful??












it was so nice spending time with her. its funny how parents go from being your whole world to hardly ever seeing them. it had been too long since we just hung out. it was great.

so, next year my goal is to do the 5K again. yes. thats it. just do it again. if i can walk/run that would be even better. more than anything i just want to be still doing this. i want to still be eating healthy (for the most part) and exercising. i want to still be taking those steps to become who i want to be.

Ten Random Things About Smasher Girl

1. i dont have a dishwasher. so, really, this could read, "i have a lot of dirty dishes." actually, i DOOO have a dishwasher. it's just in my bedroom at the moment. my wonderful husband is WORKING on getting it installed.

2. i cannot throw up in a toilet. or any container. so, really, this could read, "my husband has an extremely patient and understanding bedside manner."

3. i am a jehovah's witness. so, to answer the most common follow-up question: "yes, i ACTUALLY go around knocking on people's doors." and it's the most rewarding thing i have ever done with my time!

4. i dont like coffee. so, really, this could read, "i am NOT a morning person." i really wish i could swallow the stuff. just cant. cant do it.

5. i learned to drive stick by buying a brand new toyota that was a stick shift. so, this could also read, "i am kinda stubborn and dont always think things through." my life was literally threatened EVERY day the first 2 weeks i owned it. i would stall out on the on-ramp of the freeway during RUSH hour each morning. every morning. that long line of cars was all because of ME....and people made sure i KNEW it!

6. i love to cook. when i got married 5 years ago, i could not cook at ALL. i asked for cookbooks for my wedding shower at work. the funny thing is, i just realized recently that i like to cook. it shocked me. especially since im pretty sure ive liked it all along and never knew it!

7. the only 2 foods i dont like are croutons and mirange. so, this could also read, "i love food." hmm....that COULD have something to do with me needing to lose more than 100 pounds!

8. i am a FREAK about food safety. i opened a cafe for people in arizona. i had to take all these food safety classes and read all kinds of books. it scared me. i am in a constant mental war against botulism. i never go to the grocery store without a list. and it is organized by grocery store sections. i get all perishable items (dairy and meat) last....so they are not in my cart too long. and then it's STRAIGHT home. and the food goes RIGHT in the fridge.

9. if you really want to see me sweat, stand in front of the fridge with the door open for more than 5 seconds. (see explanation above) i can almost SEE the temperature start to rise....and bacteria start to grow......yes...i am nuts.

10. the first time i danced with my husband was outside in the rain. so, this could really read, "i am a huge romantic." the car headlights were on and the car doors were open. "a kiss to build a dream on" was blaring over the car speakers. im pretty sure i was barefoot....it was in arizona. so even though it was night time, it was super warm.

it turns out there is one more thing about me. i went to the doctor yesterday. for a physical.

11. i have high blood pressure. and need medication.

i knew it was high. i hoped these last 9 weeks of diet and exercise would do the trick. it helped. but i need medicine. i am 28 years old and i need to be on medicine for my high blood pressure. i hate this. i hate what i have done to my body.

this whole time that i have been losing weight i havent been counting anything...not counting calories or points or carbs. im not a counter. i cant count. but now i have to. i have to count sodium mg. reallllly?

i am so embarrassed by this. i am not telling any one. i did this to myself.

it was a good reminder though. i started this weight loss journey because i was scared of the tingling in my hands, my headaches, dizziness....AND the worst: nose bleeds. i knew these symptoms were likely symptoms of high blood pressure. i thought if i just started eating right and exercising it would GO AWAY....and eventually (if i keep this up) it WILL. just not over night.

losing weight is not about skinny jeans. its about keeping my heart pumping...and my blood vessels from exploding.

Pink Journals and Chocolate Chicken

this is my food journal. isnt it lovely? (and i made that fancy bookmark.) in my last post i mentioned that writing down my food and exercise at the end of each day is super important. i really dont have a logical REASON for why that is.

some how, even if i have been gorging myself on brie cheese and french bread for the last 3 days, if i write it down, i am still on plan. some how, i pick up the pieces and pull myself together.

that being said, for ME, the physical book itself is JUST as important as writing in it each day. it has to be ME. it has to symbolize the person inside of me that shines through when i am doing the right thing for my body. it is hard to find such a book. which makes what i am about to say soooo sad.

my food journal is almost out of pages.

a good friend bought this book for me. there were a bunch of different colors to choose from. each color had a description of a personality on it. ironically, when she read the description of the pink one (in case you havent guessed.....MY favorite color), she was surprised by how accurate it was! the picture is a little blury...this is what is says:

"you are light-spirited, fun loving, and always up for a good time. people are attracted to your adventurous nature. luck seems to follow wherever you go."

nice, huh?

each night, i write the date, how many days ive been on plan, when and what i ate, my fruits and veggies, how much i worked out, my dairy servings, and how much exercise i have left to do that week. and i also record my measurments and weigh-ins. it looks like this.














i seriously canNOT go to sleep unless i write in it first. and i am as opposite as you can get from OCD. it's just SOMETHING about writing in this journal that makes all the work i did that day feel real. feel worthwhile.

speaking of things i did....i made this super fast and easy dinner yesterday.

CHOCOLATE CHIKEN over couscous. the whole dinner, including prep took 31 minutes!

Easy Chocolate (Mole) Chicken:

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, sliced thin
2 tbsp baking cocoa
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 package frozen chopped sweet peppers and onions
16 oz salsa

first, brown the sliced chicken in a little oil in a saute pan.











sprinkle the browned chicken with cocoa and cumin. stir to coat. add the salsa and frozen veggies.










stir together. bring to a boil. reduce heat. cover. simmer 5 minutes or until peppers are tender. serve over cooked couscous.


i really love recipes like this that include some veggies in with the main course....this was super tasty! it came out pretty saucy, so even though i used plain couscous (who doesnt love couscous....and they cook in 5 mins!) the sauce soaked into it and gave it a lot of flavor.

this made about 6 servings. so i have left overs in my fridge!

Weekly Weigh-In: -6 LB

i bet you can just imagine the happy dance i did in my kitchen after i got off the scale this morning! (yes, my scale is in my kitchen) i lost 6 lb this week. S.I.X. six! six six six!!! the BEST part of this six pound loss is that it makes my total loss so far (in 9 weeks) 20 lb!

i have lost 20 lb. i am awesome!

this week i exercised for 4 hours and 50 minutes. i ate out two times and made healthy choices each time. i also tracked all my food, exercise, water, and fruit/veggie intake on a daily basis. this helps me so much. i dont really understand it, but there is something about WRITING it down that makes this "eat right and exercise thing" so real.

the city i live in has a lot of great parks. and i live on ontario lake. which looks like the ocean when you are standing in front of it.

one park has a walking trail on the lake. i love going there to walk. the time really flies. and it is so beautiful there. it's like "oh, YEAH....this is why i need to get in shape...so i can walk around pretty places like this."

here is a picture of the view of the lake from one point on the trail. nine weeks ago, i quite literally could NOT walk more than a few minutes. and it was horrible. the change in my endurance is amazing. i also downloaded some great bible-based articles on to my phone/mp3 player. they are sooo interesting. i listen to them when im walking. and when im done walking ive learned a lot! it makes me feel like im accomplishing so much in so little time.



every weight loss journey sure has its ups and downs. and the "downs" really stink. but, man, the "ups" are really really great. a big part of enjoying the weight loss journey is being able to recognize the ups. and enjoy the ups! i love the ups! i live for the ups.

and having a good view to enjoy doesnt hurt either!

Ginger Beef Stir Fry

this dinner was so good, easy, fast and healthy! i used asparagus, but broccoli could be used as well. (pretend that is BROWN rice in that picture.)

Ginger Beef Stir Fry:

2 cups mushrooms, halved
1.5 lb asparagus, cut in 2-inch pieces
3 scallions, sliced
1/2 cup reduced sodium beef broth
2 tbsp light soy sauce
2 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp cornstarch
1 tbsp sugar
8 oz steak, fat trimmed, sliced thin
2 cups hot cooked brown rice


spray a wok with cooking spray. stir fry the mushrooms, asparagus (or broccoli), and scallions for 3-4 mins until crisp-tender. (DO NOT over cook as i have the tendency to do. they will cook as they sit.) remove from heat.


add a little oil to wok and brown beef. in a bowl, mix the broth, soy sauce, ginger, and sugar. move the beef to the edges of the pan. pour the broth mixture in the middle. cook until the sauce is thick and bubbly and beef is done.

add back the veggies. stir to coat with the sauce and heat through. serve over the rice.




im doing a lot better. i got the message last week. i need to eat right and exercise. no getting around it. and i cant do it half way. lunch today was marinated chicken thighs and salad with tahini-yogurt dressing. isnt it PRETTY?????



and i've even been enjoying the gym. i went in the morning on tuesday. i thought i would hate it....because i am NOT a morning person...or a night person....im more of a "mid-afternoon" kind of gal.

but it was great. it woke me up. i felt wonderful! and i love love love weights! it still really scares me when im doing weights and not cardio.....it feels like im wasting my precious gym time. the whole time im pumping iron (hahaha) there is a voice in my head screaming, "GET ON THAT TREADMILL!!! YOU CAN LIFT THAT BARBELL AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT, BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE YOUR BUTT ANY SMALLER!"

the voice in my head has to work on her people skills.....

im hoping the weights make a difference in the long run! deep down i believe they will.

Weekly Weigh-In: +2 lb

i peter. i peter out. i am a peterer. i dwindle. i give in. i give up.

i am also strong, brave, disciplined and determined.....for a little while. i have been known to have great strength of character...for any decidedly short amount of time. and then? and then, im done. i fade. this happens all the time and with seemingly zero provocation.

in case you haven't guessed, this week was not good. i gained 2 lb. yup. gained.

there were no big events that took place this week. nothing to place the blame on. just me. just me wanting to skate by...not wanting to work that hard.

that is not an option. i am unhealthy. sick. my body cannot handle the stress. it deserves better. the people i love deserve better.

i deserve better.

Artichokes With Lemon & Olive Oil

im on an artichoke kick. i made some lemon artichokes that were to DIE for.

here is the recipe:

4 artichokees, trimmed

1 onion, sliced

2 scallions, sliced

1 lemon, juiced and sliced

4 tbsp olive oil

1/2 c water

fresh thyme

put the artichokes in a big pot. add the onion, scallions, juice from the lemon, the lemon slices and water. pour a tbsp of olive oil on each artichoke. cover and simmer 35 mins.

add the thyme and simmer 20 mins more or until artichokes are tender.

season with salt and pepper.

Caterpillars and 5K

Just when the caterpillar thought his life was over, he became a butterfly.
--Proverb

I love that saying. I don’t know if it actually applies to me. But I do know that I have often felt and thought that I just couldn’t DO this anymore. And I have pushed through. And I have been more proud of myself at the end of it.

I have always wanted to do a 5K. And now I’m actually going to DO it. Some one I cared for very much died June 12, 2009. She was in hospice care during her final hours. Thanks to Jehovah and the care she received, she died painlessly. The 5K that I am walking (probably very slowly) benefits a hospice house in the town she lived in. It is a beautiful place that provides palliative (comfort) care for the dying at NO COST TO THEM!!! I am proud to be able to support such wonderful place.

I am sure I will be very proud of myself when I get to that finish line!

Weekly Weigh-In: -3 LB

Shock does not begin to describe the feeling I had when I stepped on the scale this morning. I was completely prepared for a gain this week. But the little hula girl on my weight loss ticker gets to move in the right direction today! YAY! I am currently 249. I’m out of the 250’s!! I am finally closer to 200 lb than 300 lb. I love this! I love love love a good weigh in. I love love love that I have something so great going on!

This week: no more candy at work. We have candy bowls ALL over the place for “customers”….and I have been going nuts on it lately. Not this week. I am strong. I am fit. I am in control. (thanks Lindsay)

My meals this week include Heart Warming Chili, Puerto Rican Chicken, Oven “Fried” Fish, salads with chicken and steak, strawberries, grilled artichokes & mushrooms, mangos, corn on the cob.

My work out schedule is as follows.
Monday: Latin Cardio (60 mins)
Tuesday: Zumba and Weights (60 mins)
Wednesday: OFF
Thursday: Eliptical and Weights (60 mins)
Friday: OFF
Saturday: Eliptical and Weights (60 mins)
Sunday: OFF

And getting to the gym is going to be about ME and the GYM. If Buddy wants to come, that’s cool. I’d love to see her there. But that’s not what I am counting on to get ME there. I’m counting on Me for that!

The Good, The Bad, and The Buddy

the bitch made me cry. this 20 minute work out is HARD. my husband (who is in half way decent shape) tried it and almost threw up! one of my goals was to do this work out every day. i've scored about a D- on that....doing it about every OTHER day. it's only 20 minutes, but it's been hard to fit it in to my day. next week the goal is to do this every day AND go to the gym 3 times a week. ouch.

i did get my weights program from a personal trainer. it seems way toooo simple. not EASY because it hurts. but i just dont see how weights is actually going to make any kind of difference. but we shall see.

i need to make getting to the gym more personal. it needs to be about ME and the GYM. when i signed up at the gym 6 weeks ago, a friend signed up with me. great, huh? awesome, right? sometimes yes, and most of the time, nooooo. she's a canceler, a flaker, a last minute escaper. which shouldnt matter, right? except that it does. i feel great and ready for the gym...then i get that text telling me that her electricity is out and she cant leave her husband home alone, or she hit her head and has a concussion, or that her blood sugar is too low and she passed out, or that she tripped over a fan, or her chiropracter told her not to exercise, or that she had a root canal, or her dentist told her not to exercise.......the second i find out she's not coming all my desire to work out flies out the window.

but the thing is, exercise is hard...i dont hold it against her that she USUALLY doesnt want to go...but that cant be the reason that i dont!!!

Tuh-Dahhh!

check out my new kick butt crazy expensive amazingly accurate fancy scale! isnt she darling?? it's a Tanita InnerScan™ Body Composition Monitor Scale. i paid a hundred bucks for it to tell my all kinds of terrible things about myself. including that half of my body is fat and that my metabolic age is 50. yes. 50. and im only 28. but the most important thing is that this baby is accurate!

thank you to EVERYONE who gave me such awesome advice about a scale! i was going to buy a Weight Watchers scale, but then, i got curious about what brand of scale Weight Watchers uses for weekly weigh-ins before their meetings. happily, my best friend is a Weight Watchers leader, so i asked her.....and she said they use a Tanita scale. (i dont know if that is true everywhere, but its what they use here) and when i checked out what Pasta Queen recommends, it was also a Tanita. so far, i am very happy with it!

Just Keep Swimming

i am in a fog. everything is hazy. there is no ground under my feet. if the number on the scale tomorrow shows that i maintained this week, it will be a GIFT. i haven't completely jumped off the deep end, but i definitely put my feet in the water. i keep repeating in my head "just keep going, just keep going...." i know that i need to be in this for a good solid year to get near my goal weight. but this feeling i have isnt all about my physical health. i have checked out mentally and it is affecting everything. there's no good reason for this. and the two things that matter most and HELP me the most in feeling good are the two things that have been most affected: my physical health and spiritual health. its only been about a week that this feeling has sunk its teeth into me, but i need to do something about it ASAP. my physical health is a lot easier to work on than my spiritual health. i can see right now the things i did wrong this week.

1. didnt cook ahead for lunches
2. tried to do all my exercises at home instead of at the gym

man, i am scared of what the scale is going to say tomorrow. but i am getting back on that flippin' horse.

Really?

really? reallllly? is it THAT hard to get a scale that gives you an accurate number? the scale i have now is really putting a damper on this weight loss thing. i get on and it gives me one number, i get off and back on....and it gives me a different one....as many as 6 different readings in a 30 second time period. and not just a few ounces or a pound...as much as 5 lbs.....yes, i know my weight tends to yo-yo, but not like THAT.

this is one of the times i wish that i actually had READERS of my blog....i need recommendations! where do i get such a scale?